Yeah, Just Double Dropped A Disney Mate

Despite being in my early late forties, it is never too late to acquire or accumulate new knowledge and/or skills.

This no doubt will prove particularly useful as the industry of my ‘Cyber’ day job ,becomes inundated with poets, artists and gentlemen and/or individuals with a uterus who have elected to continue to sport a Paul Weller hair cut.

This week for example I have started to learn how to speak Mandarin, not to tinned kind served up by kind old Grandmothers on a pile of curdled cheese, but the splendid language of our future lords and masters the Chinese. Despite its outward appearances, Mandarin is an eminently more sensible language than English, that said English does make even Welsh seem a useful use of letters into noises.

I have also learnt this week that the death of Cinema is because that dreadful James Bond chap has still not released his movie.

Whilst for actual lovers of the medium of film this news was probably a huge sigh of relief, however for the plebeians who are all to keen to suck on the sour teat of such dismal dross, this is an utter outrage.

Of course whilst cinemas closing (alongside every other slither of joy in the god forsaken Isle that is the UK), is desperately sad. We have been here before, I remember when home taping was killing music and when Blockbusters fingered Madonna behind Salisbury’s.

Thankfully the triumph of market forces came to the rescue, deciding that musicians didn’t really deserve to be paid and that movies could make more money if you kept re-inventing the format they were presented on.

Blockbusters killed cinema, Netflix killed Blockbuster, Blockbuster cinema rose again, Netflix killed Blockbuster cinema. There is a pattern here, that I cannot quite put my finger on.

I would argue that cinema has been in its death throes since the satanic temple of Disney bought Pixar.

Then Star wars fans started picking on George Lucas for having the audacity of making kids films for kids rather than autistic incels. Leaving Lucasfilm ripe for the picking from the clutched of Demon Spawn Disney.

And finally someone had the bright idea of turning second rate and/or mediocre Marvel characters into a franchise, which would be all you can eat buffet of mono-flavoured myco proteins.

The modern world has burned our visual cortex to a bare optic nerve, where even real life looks a bit rubbish compared to ones Amoled screened mobile device. Therefore it is hardly any wonder that the subtle craft and skill of movie making struggles to find a window to display its wares.

The society of the spectacle is eating itself before our very eyes, we are already augmenting our reality to avoid the glare of poverty and despair in our local communities.

So lie back and think of England whilst your very soul is strip mined for that last glimmer of your true self.

Maybe take your mind off of having your mind taken off to watch some Only Fools and Horses on an old VHS, as they don’t make them like that any more.


Internet personality who writes sometimes