Regular non readers, shall be aware of my stumbling, journey through CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)
For the uninitiated, CBT is a great way in understanding how and why you react to certain situations.
Once those readers of the 2nd paragraph have completed sucking Grandma’s Eggs, we shall move on, to the vague semblance of a point.
For my CBT this week, I have been tasked with challenging my ‘core beliefs’ and ‘rules for living’ .
In this example, I am seeking to challenge the ‘mind reading’, behaviours. This in short is a belief, that somehow I know what folk are thinking and ‘prepare’ accordingly.
If only Derek Akorah were alive…
However, with my standard distraction bullshit now out of the way, for those still with us, here is the Experiment.
Situation : Awkward conversation earlier in week, leaves me dreading next meeting.
Pre Experiment Assumption : I have done something that has upset the individual, this is why they didn’t reply to my txts or contact.
Usual response : Defensive, withdrawn, non communicative.
Potential other outcomes : The other person has had a bad week and needed to focus on themselves.
Spoiler Alert : My initial assumption was BS
Whilst perhaps not surprising, but how many conversations ot relationships are you in, which are shaped by what ‘YOU THINK’ might be the outcome.
My Old Dad used to say to me, “Put yourself down, before anyone else can.”
It is a great defensive posture, for a time.
And I don’t blame him for wanting me to be ‘safe’, it probably worked ok for him.
Remember this about your parents, unless they were Fred West types, most parents did the best they could with what they had.
One day you might be in a similar situation.
Over many years, it is easy to forget the ‘functional’ purpose of this reaction.
And you start to believe it, you find yourself riddled with doubt, second guessing and desperately seeking validation creeping through every fibre of your being.
[Blue Screen. Gif]
This is where CBT comes into play, training your thinking and emotions in ‘Bullet Time’, to understand and apply genuine meaning or value to your response.
And now a knob joke from Jeff in Entertainment News