Becoming More Than Just the Primary Key

It has been a strange old week here at the OT_Strange Towers, not only were we running low on hot oil for the hordes of screaming peasants, but we were also down to the last pork tenderloin and frozen donner kebab meat in the freezer.

The grandiose and re-splendid ‘Outdoor Artexing’ and ‘Forced Horse Ironmongery’, have even begun to show the signs of decay under the ongoing assaults against them.

Disappointingly this result was despite having diligently applied several coats of, ‘Don’t Show Signs Of Rust or Decay For Three Years’, a mere four and half years ago.

In addition OT_Strange the senior (BTW this is me talking in the third person for no other reason than I might divulge stuff that this third person might have thought of, or some shit.)

Having entered week four of his compulsory side quest of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

This, coupled with also having to arbitrate the continuing battle between the A.I Acronym Army of the, ‘BBC’, ‘BBW’, ‘ABC’, ‘FTW’, ‘GFU’ and the ‘Less specifics’. #PrayforPeace

Having bounced in and out of ‘Therapy’ almost as many times as I have bounced in and out of rehab, therefore, I am fairly adept at fielding the soft arm throws of anyone who wears tie-dye clothing or spider-web earrings.

This is not some arbitrary decision by the way, I was raised on a diet of Tarot Cards and Ouija boards – Two of your five Satanic Activities A Day’!

Do you remember that scene in Ghostbusters, where Bill Murray is electrocuting the girl and the guy in order to test ‘Tele-Kenesis’?

This was my after school club, only rather than the amusing and quite frankly adoptable Bill Murray, it was my mother and the punishment for not getting the correct card, was (wait for it)

The eternal hatred from my loving lord and saviour the baby Jesus. 🙏🏿

The aforementioned punishment began to manifest itself as an allergy of nuts, this of course required a full exorcism at the age of 13, however owing to my ddistinct evil nature this failed, and the allergy to nuts remained.

Proof indeed ,that it was infact my inability to accept indoctrinated child abuse under the umbrella of religion, that would become my eternal downfall – I had not only let myself down but, my mother, my God and creator.

If the other methods of ‘Therapy’ which I have encountered could be equates to the burglars from Home Alone, CBT would be like a fricking ‘Now You See Me Now You Don’t’ Heist.

As a consequence much of the week has felt like I am just simply lying, waiting for the impending assault on the Royal Gates of the Self.

This is where, on reflection, it becomes quite interesting.

Much of my week as been filled with an overwhelming sense of being on the receiving end of some kind very personal and vindictive assault.

This is of course, utterly ridiculous.

There was no ‘personal and vindictive assault‘, something probably happened which I took exception to, but does this mean that my reaction has no value? Probably not, depends on your point of view I suppose, (BTW I am always right).

When it comes to calculating value, the key metrics are literally defined by the dimensions in order to provide more value than simply a primary key holding shit together in a database.

Therefore to continue the I.T Wanker Adage, my head elected for the best option at its disposal, that little cute thing where it goes all blue and a pixel smiley face laughs at you whilst your will to live is sucked out your ass.

The one thing that I have found from exploring CBT, which has proven potentially useful, is that I do feel a little more aware of, ‘Why’ I choose to react in such a way.

And in this instance the ‘Why’ is the key insight surely?

What has proven interesting this week, is that beginning to understand why I might react to situations, all of a sudden means that potentially I know why other people react to me the way they do.

This is one of the reasons whilst I literally revel in being unlikable, the other reasons being that most people are banal, life sucking gravity wells of a cunt who are not worth bothering with.

In summary, I think Iron Man is pretty cool and his story Arc in the MCU was almost watchable.

Oh and be careful, the person or thing or situation that you hate, is most likely something you hate about yourself.



Internet personality who writes sometimes