Nicholas Cage Pillows and Cthulu knitted hats.

“It’s the most wonderful time, of the year…”, they say. However ‘they’ also say, ‘The Christmas you get you deserve’ – callous bastards that, ‘they’ apparently are.

More often than not I am usually only dimly aware of the inner workings of Christmas, as neither shopping or being pleasant to others (with no guaranteed return), holds little interest for me.

This year however, it was suggested that I engage in the annual Christmas bollocks of ‘Secret Santa’. Today is the something or other of December and to my knowledge I had not bought anything – neither family or fellow Internet weirdos. Mrsoutatownstrange suggested that I check out http://www.wish.com.

My only engagement with Wish had previously been with memes on Reddit.

NOBODY :

In fairness my Nan invented that, so I hope someone is taking score of her royalties.

Anyhow, 58 minutes later I had spent a tenner and my shopping for everyone was done. I can sleep now until my birthday in Feb.

‘Come for the trash, stay for the trash.’ – O.T Strange (you can use that)

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Author:

Internet personality who writes sometimes